The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
