I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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