I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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