1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
