You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize