You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
