In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
