Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
