it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
