ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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