i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
my liver is dry heaving
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
