I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
