Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
