This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
