Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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