I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Someone signed my nipple.
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