don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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