We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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