He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
