do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
