All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
