i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
