My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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