my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize