she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.