There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.