i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.