just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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