Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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