I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
