'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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