You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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