Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
