I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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