dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
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