Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
