glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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