The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
