i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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