TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
