Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
