so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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