quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
