I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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