her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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