screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How does it feel to date your dad?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
