**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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