You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
