dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
