Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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