I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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