I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
