just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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