Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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