but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
