Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
