You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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