i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
