I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
