I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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