I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
