It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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