eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
