Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
