Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
