dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All the doctor said was why
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
