all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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