Do you still have your period?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
